Should’ve, Could’ve, Would’ve!
The crippling paralysis that FOMO is in our lives.
Remember that day when you were supposed to sit for your exam but all you could think about was if only you could get one more day to prepare?
You see, that’s the fear crippling you from inside for a loss that you might encounter during your exams. This happens with everyone and all the time. The reason is as ubiquitous as the words of wisdom around you: Fear of Missing Out or FOMO.
FOMO is the realization of the aversion for the experience of loss. It’s evident that loss is pain. What transpires in such a fear that a person is willing to let go of the present happiness for the momentary joy that the fear of the loss can bring.
It’s a classic tussle between persevere and preserve. The body wants to persevere and learn while the mind is all about preservation. Call it the biological baggage of falling for the potential than what is.
The fear is so crippling that once your mind is haunted with the idea of ‘what could’ve been’, you’re absolutely submerged in the thought.
“Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself.”
― J.K. Rowling
This fear is even more in current world of ‘highlights’ and ‘reels’. What we are delivered through social media is the finished product and not the hours of work that went into it. To top it off, we’re bombarded with the marketing maneuvers of crazy sales which are basically asking you to get anxious before you even get the product.
We’re in a constant state of panic and withdrawal from the reality. We’ve forgotten what it looks like to have a Saturday without thinking about what lies after two days. We’re living for the weekends to almost die on weekdays. The cycle is a self-fulfilling prophecy. This is exactly where we are going wrong.
The 18-year old are looking at the 14-year old to compare their lives with. We have Gen X, Gen Z, Gen Y, Boomers, Cheugy and so many more names to make us realize how fast the world is changing and just how slow we are on a personal level.
Even noting down just a glimpse of our fear-centric lives makes our heart want to roll into a ball of mush and just take a day off from life, doesn’t it?
We’re willing to sacrifice on the most basic of our needs such as sleep, emotional satisfaction, food et cetera, just to make sure that we receive a medal on our deathbeds. If this is what we have become, if this is how we perceive the life that has been rewarded to us, what else is left in the world to derive happiness from?
Don’t confuse my approach with turning oneself into a recluse to run away from all the work that one has to do for personal development and growth, but we are living on the crumbs of joys while sacrificing the mountains of peace and balance. (Mind you, this is in your control!)
So, what’s the alternative?
Do we stop living for the moments that we aspire to have in our lives?
Do we laze around and wait for our turn to get fabulous and fortunate?
A loud and resounding NO!
We don’t need to succumb to fear to realize what’s essential in our lives and where our potential can take us. We need to look beyond the 30 seconds of the reels and look at the 30 years into the future. That’s the flipside of living in the moment - you only live in the moment without letting yourself create those in the times to come.
You see, in the Search Engine called You and Your Life, you get the results around what you feel the most. If you’d fear all the time, it’s exactly what will surface when you’d want to take an action or feel the intensity of the moment.
So, how do you combat the FOMO?
Take a 180-degree approach!
If you’re insecure that your partner might get someone better than you, face it. That Saturday you’ve been planning to invest all on them? Not anymore. You reserve it for yourself. You binge on favorite documentary all day long, just to end up taking a stroll in the park. You do what makes you happy other than the happiness you get being with others. It’s only through realizing what you actually want, you can be joyous in others’ achievements without getting insecure.
When you’re eating that salad you have been craving for since a long time, you’re still missing out on the entire menu other than the salad. You’re always missing out on something or the other. It’s time you prioritize your peace of mind over the fear. It’s only through missing out, you’re living the moment in its absolute and fullest sense.
Hope you’d remember that!
Happy living!