If losing was a game, would you still lose yourself to win it?
That’s right. I’m talking about losing oneself in the world of wins.
You might find it odd about how you can lose yourself and still call that a win.
But we have been doing that since a long time now.
We have been rushing after that coveted job that we want while sacrificing our sleep. We’ve been prodding around the partner in the hope that they will love us back or perhaps, wish to reclaim our love for them soon.
In a perfect world, Paulo Coelho is astoundingly correct when he says,
“And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”
It’s in the ‘want’ the key to the mystery lies. If what you want is just superficial and has no inkling of what it’ll actually do for you as a whole, it’s a disaster you’re looking at.
Don’t confuse me with a lazy person who doesn’t wish to work or manifest the best for their goals. Trust me, I’m all in for that. But when we are cooking the dish of success, do we factor in all of the ingredients that are required and make provisions for the ones which we don’t have up our arsenal yet?
As far as my observation goes, most of us have heavily under-researched for, or for the lack of better, underestimated the tolls that a particular opportunity takes on our mental health and on the health of our loved ones.
While looking for a position at a company, we go through the list of requirements, expected salary, number of people working at, the track record of the company if it’s new and so on. We even go through the extent of figuring out the details of how we will be spending the salary received. Where most of us lack is in looking out for the mental encumbrances such a role would bring and if we are at that stage of our lives to entertain any of that.
Since I’ve mentioned love, let me talk a little bit about that too.
When you fall head over heels for a person, you don’t go out and see if the person is a good match for you. Blame it on the feel-good hormones!
The rush of the adrenaline when we see the person, the butterflies in the stomach, the first time you kiss, the first time you get involved in sexual intimacy and so on, gets imprinted on you like a carving in the wood. Relishing in the feeling of being in love becomes your magic potion to come across any obstacle and overcome it. We commit to each other, we make promises and we hold hands and decide to walk towards the old age.
Even in any financial investment, we contribute only as much as we are comfortable losing out on, but why doesn’t the same mentality transpire in other aspects of our lives?
What happens when the people in the relationship falter?
Where do you find yourself when the existential crisis strikes while being in the company?
How do you reestablish the boundaries and the solutions in a fight between you and your partner?
Unfortunately, we never consider these no matter how practical we are. But there’s a caveat. We don’t consider until we’re hurt or just can’t figure out how we are going to go ahead now.
If you’ve seen yourself in this story, you need to ask yourself: “Despite being a human, why am I behaving like a machine?”
A machine can’t realize on its own if it needs to get its oil changed or part repaired. To make it easier for the humans, we install these indicators in such machines. You know what’s a tad bit funny in all of this? Humans too have these indicators. That sense of overwhelm you receive at the thought of a hectic day ahead, the sinking feeling of your heart, the disconnect from your emotions that involve delving into your personal life etc. are the signs that our body and mind flash in front of us in red, but we ignore it flamboyantly.
The solutions never come to those who stop seeking and working towards it. Your mental health follows the same principle too. Don’t get so absorbed in the world of distractions and job descriptions that you forget to open the window of your mind and heart for a healthy ventilation. Look for the things which make you happy and ground you with what you are. Your personality changes over time and according to the situations you face, but some aspects of your life are the cornerstone you build your life mansion around. Don’t lose it!